Literary Piece: Pieces to a Puzzle

Originally written: January 29, 2010

When life gets too puzzling, you have to take a breather. It’s like trying to piece together a jigsaw puzzle: when you don’t know where a certain piece fits, you think of the bigger picture and deliberately see where it fits. No rush. No worries. Take all the time you can to see where the pieces fit in order to complete the picture.

Because life puzzles you when you focus on that one little piece. You feel trapped, but not until you think about the whole of it all. Then you’ll see that it’s probably not as bad as you think.

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Literary Piece: The Masochist

Originally written: November 15, 2009

This is not a love story—for only a masochist would love a narcissist. Reader, I will admit to you that I am a masochist. I am a masochist falling in love with a narcissist.

But I never meant to be a masochist. I never even meant to fall in love. All I ever wanted was happiness and a clear path to my life dreams. Falling in love was not in my list. And to be in love with him—a friend I have been avoiding, a boy whose life I could alter with my feelings!

Now I harbour my feelings, which I dare not call as “love”. I do not wish to call them as such because I’m consciously confused. Confusion mustn’t overpower my reason. This isn’t love!

If I fell in love, I must be sure that he won’t break my heart into infinite dust. Because I’ve been there before, and never will I want to go through the pain again.

Literary Piece: JWB 4 (for a lack of a better title)

Originally written: March 20, 2010

The curtain draws, the passion's on
He savors every exchange,
She wonders "should I go on?"

He's fierce, she's hesitant
"You said you wanted thrill"
She lets go and breaks her own heart

His lips slide down
For a moment she stops him
"Are we seriously going to just F around?"

Hormones let loose,
She gets into the game
Her conscience says: wrong thing to choose

Convictions bent over backwards
Short-term pleasure satisfied
"No strings attached"? Is it hard?

Literary Piece: The Morning After

Author’s note: This piece was written during (more like after) Typhoon Pepeng.

Originally written: October 12, 2009

The skies are quiet; clearly the storm is over. As the sun rises over the havoc, tears spring like a flooding storm. Muddy bodies under the destruction. How tragic it is to feel Nature’s wrath!

Grief is in the air—families have gone to the infinity and beyond. Despair is felt—no home, no food. Fear is slithering across people’s minds—survival’s disrupted.

But the sun shines on, the clock keeps on ticking. Just do what they do…

Haikus

Originally written: February 24, 2010

Clueless and speechless

Thoughts flow, but not out

And that's all they'll ever be

***

Writing thoughts to words

I thought this was my fate

What happened to me?

***

The fire is out

Inspiration, where are you?

The passion seems lost

Literary Piece: Happily Ever After Below The Waist

Author's Note: The song "Bang The Doldrums" by Fall Out Boy inspired me to write this piece. This is the second literary piece I've written that is inspired by the aforementioned song.

He said he didn't want anything serious. What I wanted was romance and "true love" - at least that's what I thought. I can't commit to a thing... so why am I still here? Why aren't I quitting or getting up? Why am I still behind drawn curtains?

It all started with a simple attraction... until I got masticated in the gluteus by curiosity. Oh, youth! Oh, curiosity! He won't commit anytime soon and neither will I.

How does this story conclude? "They both lived happily ever after below the waist..." This is a love story in my own way.

Literary Piece: Checkmate

Originally written: January 25, 2010

You've moved your pawns, twice. Now hold on and wait as I think before I move. One wrong move and I can lose. I must move my pieces to the right places.

I'll move my pieces right and if you move yours right. With the right moves one of us will be saying, "checkmate".




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Literary Piece: Jim Sturgess Eyes

Originally written: February 23, 2010

There’s something in the way

My mind goes

Once again, he affects me

Like no one else does

There’s something in the way

He draws me

I’m not gonna point it out

I’ll just look into them and know

His Jim Sturgess eyes

And cigarette-stained smiles

Will leave me with answers

That trail new questions

Don’t ask me where my heart will go

For it doesn’t know

If he makes an impact

With those Jim Sturgess eyes

I may stick around

To see what’s more

"You want to have coffee again some time?" (A short story)

Author's note: Ernest Hemingway's "Hills Like White Elephants" inspired me to write this piece.

"You should try it," he said."There's nothing more thrilling, more exciting than..." he trailed off when he saw that she wasn't even looking at him.

"But now's not the time," she said. Her eyes remained fixed over the horizon. "We don't even have something between us that will compel us to do it for its actual purpose. And you know what happens when people do it for fun."

"You're over thinking again." He sipped from his coffee cup, shaking his head disapprovingly.

"I'm not." Her tone was defiant. "I'm just sticking to what I believe in. And I damn well am sticking firmly. Besides, I told you before... I'm into that because of trust issues." Awkward silence fell upon them. She felt uncomfortable, but he felt cocky.

"You don't believe you can trust me?" He smirked at her. "I'll show you if you let me." His words were so haunting that her eyes widened in surprise. Her heart began to race. Feeling as if winning a full house, he leaned back on his chair. "Look, we're two very single people. I don't see you attached to any string. And look at me: you don't see a ball and chain, do you?" He paused to watch her squirm - avoidance of eye contact, a rattled posture, slight wringing of the hands - before he said these chilling words: "You said you're looking for thrills... what I'm offering is the most thrilling of the thrills."

She closed her eyes and breathed slowly. "I don't come cheap."

"I get it, you're scared." His damn smirk just won't go away. "You see, I don't do it to be the Alpha Male. I do it because, well, I like doing it."

"Man-whore." The words were out of her mouth without thoroughly thinking it through.

He laughed. "You won't lose anything, so why don't you just try?"

She gave him a look as if he's utterly insane. "I have convictions and I stand by them."

He put up his hands in mock surrender. "All right. I'm not gonna corrupt you." But he saw a sly smile form in her face.

"Although... the 'evil bitch' side of me would go one step at a time through the bases."

He stifled a boisterous laugh. "Why go through that when you can instantly go all the way?"

She raised a challenging eyebrow at him. "Well, do you even know what I'm talking about?" 

He leaned halfway across the table and said in a low voice, "No... so how about it? Will you show me?"

"She met him halfway, leaning as if to kiss him. In a sultry voice, she told him, "I don't come cheap." Seductively running a finger through his jawline, she went on: "Great idea. We should have coffee more often." She giggled. "Want to have coffee again some time?"

Literary Piece: Return of a Foe

Originally written: January 18, 2010

Author’s note: This piece is about my Mitral Valve Prolapse heart condition.

Don’t delude yourself into thinking you can’t feel my presence. You feel me crushing your bones and you subtly catch your breath as I squeeze you a little tighter.

If you think I’ve gone away, oh, you’re wrong. I bid my time and now I’m out to get you. Look after your heart before I take it from you.

Literary Piece: Not the Pain You Think

Originally written: November 4, 2009

I feel the soreness in my bones

Every move is critical

But I still feel the stabs

They’re going straight through my chest

I shut the pain out

And go on living normally

But it’s still there

Crushing inside me

At night, as I sleep,

I try to listen to my heart

I ignore the tight and sharp pang

And listen to the voice that says “you’ll be okay”

Literary Piece: Not Wrapping This In Ribbons

Originally written: November 8, 2009

Don’t take this the wrong way. Just because I duck low and pay attention to Jane Eyre instead of you, it doesn’t mean I don’t like you. Well, I’m not so sure about that, but I know I want us to still be friends.

It hasn’t been easy, especially after that day. Do you remember it as vividly as I do? Or do I have to repaint the picture in your mind?

Do you remember being close, the closest you’ve ever gone? Do you remember your skin brushing mine? I do. I remember the heat.

In that moment, I felt something… something which I can’t give a name to. I’m afraid that if I’m close you, I’ll feel that feeling again and lose my focus. I’ve already made my choice. Not wrapping this in ribbons, the choice was not you.

Literary Piece: Pride Goes Before A Fall

Originally written: November 14, 2009

So many things want to flow

From the depths of my heart

Things—or plainly feelings

They’re longing to be spoken o

The suspension must cease

But pride, oh, it hinders

I grope my way to escape it

I fight my way and I get scathed

Pride overpowers me and I fall down

Denial accompanies pride

Brainwashing me to believing

That what I feel is rubbish

And they must be forgotten about

Pride chains me,

Forbids me to tell you the truth

While Honesty reaches out to me

I struggle to grab hold

So I wait until pride goes before a fall

Literary Piece: Hold ‘Em Like They Do in Texas

Originally written: January 25, 2010

In a game of poker, you would definitely win. You’re even probably the best, as long as you know when to fold your cards and put the game on pause. Take time to think and not make and unneeded gamble.

Remember to pick back up your cards and pray that nobody’s stacking the deck. Put on your poker face and hope nobody sees through you. When you’ve played your game well, you’ll win it all, you’ll get all the prizes. Question is: will you be willing to play for the price? If you are, hold ‘em like they do in Texas.

Literary Piece: The One You Can’t Erase

Author’s Comment: No comment! Just read… vertically. Just tune in, turn off, drop out, drop in, switch off, switch on, and explode.

Originally written: August 15, 2009

Just wash the memories away

Oh, wait, maybe not just yet.

Seal them tightly where they belong.

Eradicate not what I still desire

As days wear on, my heart’s growing cold

Rising from the emotional stillness seems tough…

Tough to do

Unwind time and bring me back,

Right to that precise moment,

One moment I always dream making right.

Zealous I will be when that happens!

Until then I think of you,

Longing for many things,

Until then I live on,

Everything still goes on…

The one I can’t erase, oh!

Are you ever going to figure out?

Literary Piece: Who I Am, Who I’m Not, and Who I Want to Be

Originally written: October 14, 2009

I’m a quirky girl. Sometimes people think I’m weird because of that.

I’m an optimist. Most of the time, I look at the bright side and abandon negativity.

I’m passionate about music and writing. My life focuses on those two, among some things.

I’m shy. I tend to keep to myself when I’m around strangers.

I’m imperfect. There are things I do in excess or in deficiency.

Will you take me for who I am?

I don’t cook. I probably can’t fulfil your dream of having someone do everything for you.

I’m not eloquent. I don’t say the perfect things.

I don’t have a physique of a model. Maybe I’m not someone you can brag to your friends.

I’m not the best in school. I don’t own a spot at the Dean’s List nor do I have a perfect line of nine.

I don’t always make the best choices. I inevitably make mistakes sometimes and I let people down.

Will you still take me for who I’m not?

I want to be a writer. The words I write will change someone’s life. I want to inspire people.

I want to be in love. Everyday I wish for love and everyday I dream of love.

I want to be someone who can make a difference. There’s no purpose in idleness.

I want to be good enough. Everything would all be in vain if it weren’t.

I want to be the best that I can be. The moment I stop chasing that, everything would be worth nothing.

Will you take me and help me become who I want to be?

I’ll take you for who you are, who you’re not, and who you want to be… will you do the same for me?

Literary Piece: I Must Be Sure

Originally written: November 19, 2009

If I pursue my heart’s call for you, I must be sure that I won’t be at the losing end.

If I said “I love you”, I must be sure that I will be brave enough to accept whatever the consequence will be.

If I put my trust in you, I must be sure that you won’t take me for granted.

Because I’ve tried falling in love before, and I came to know that it isn’t always filled with happiness, with pleasure. Fates play you well and the play you cruel. Love will crush your pride even if it will put endless happiness in your path.

So I must be sure with you. I must be sure because I don’t want another misfortune, another heartache. With you, I want things to be right.

Literary Piece: As The Ice Cracks

Originally written: January 25, 2010

Make a slight move and the ice cracks. Slowly but surely it cracks, and eventually, it will break. Only time will tell.

I peek as the ice cracks… just don’t expect me to sit still and wait for it to break as if my life depended on it.

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Literary Piece: Big Bang Principles of Economics

Originally written: January 27, 2010

I look at the pages of my book, “Principles of Economics”. As I attempt to comprehend its context by reading the text, I couldn’t help but hear a certain voice in my head that is reading the words. In my mind, Sheldon Cooper from “The Big Bang Theory” tries to explain the concept of supply by verbatim using the book’s module.

The only reaction I have is: “Oh, dear…”

Literary Piece: Let It Rain

Originally written: November 26, 2009

Let the rain fall down and cleanse me of my worries. I can’t remember the last time I cried, but who needs tears? The rain feels so damn better on my cheeks. I feel free. I feel relieved.

So let it rain on me. It won’t stop me from making it past the dismal bridge of disappointment. Let it rain…

You can call me crazy or sentimental, that won’t stop me from heading where I’m bound: happiness and love—and they all start in me.

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