Bullying is a growing social problem that needs to be addressed, and more importantly, stopped. Although it's a been around for as long as anyone can remember, it's only when the tragic deaths of a few gay teens that made headlines in the US did people start taking the situation seriously. It took tragedy for the world to truly notice what bullying can lead to.
I myself have been bullied as a kid. During first grade there was this one girl who would always make me cry in class. Here I am, 12 years later, and I can't really remember why she bullied me. I don't think I ever purposely did anything mean to her that would make her hate me. She probably didn't like me even if I was just being myself. There was even a time she punched me in the face. Literally. I didn't even do anything to her - I never humiliated her, took anything from her, or intentionally hurt her. I was the quiet, new kid in class who may have come off as "strange" because I didn't go about the way the other did. I never talked smack about anyone. And I was kind enough to lend my things to some of my classmates, but they would either not give it back or if they do give it back, my things would be in poor condition. (Keep in mind, we were all first graders.)
Most of the time I didn't feel accepted or liked. I didn't have people to hang out with long enough for me to consider them my friends. As early as seven years old I was already made to feel like an outcast. There were event times when I didn't want to go to school so that I wouldn't have to face my oppressors.
So the following school year my parents transferred me to a different school. From there, things started getting easier. But, at first, things were slightly tough for me. During the first few days I didn't feel so welcome, but eventually I found friends, some of whom I still keep in touch with.
You might be wondering: since I was bullied, did I ever bully another student? In retrospect, I did. But I wasn't the kind who would steal lunch money or push kids around. I did call names, though, like "freak" or "loser" and once made a girl cry. These count as thing in life that I am not proud of. I was young and a but ignorant. Now that I am older and know better, I do not encourage kids who were once bullied to become bullies themselves. Bullying another person is not the way to move and forget the hell you've been through.
In the paradigm of bullying, there are three sets of people involved: the bullied, the bully, and the bystander. I've been the bullied for a year, the bully on few occasions, and of course,the bystander for as long as I can remember.
Bystanders are those who just stand and watch - either in indifference or out of fear - as a bully makes someone's life a living hell. They don't gather the courage to tell a bully to stop or come to the aid of the bullied when he or she feels miserable. Bystanders usually don't care or maybe they do, but their train of thought says "It's none of my business anyway."
As much as I'd love to encourage bystanders to stand up against bullies, I believe that I do not have the credibility to do so. I would be a hypocrite of I myself turn a blind eye when a bully is on a rampage.
What I will encourage, though, is kindness. No matter how different your peer is from you - whether in terms of race/ethnicity, gender, sexual preference, faith, economic status, or whatever - they deserve to be treated with kindness and love.
People have wasted too much time focusing on how they differ instead of seeing how they are alike and what they have in common: the ability to love. And I believe that now, more than ever, we should work on that ability.
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