The True Love Paradigm

The things you don't pay for are sometimes the things you learn from the most. For instance, last Monday night I learned a lot from my friend Joseph and his girlfriend Kaye about relationships - meeting your significant other, taking that leap of faith to be with the person you're in love with, making the relationship work, dealing with differences, and other little things. 

Joseph's little "symposium" on love all began when we (me, and four other friends) saw him waiting for his girlfriend. We then sat down next to him in the hallway and asked him how he and Kaye met. He then went on to tell the story, and it almost felt like we the listeners were Ted Mosby's children on How I Met Your Mother. 

They have a sweet story, and though it may be similar to other love stories I've heard, their story has its unique elements: admitting feelings after a night of ghost hunting, saying "L" word on a starry December night, and falling in love over the Christmas break.

After telling their story, they also answered my friend Ruth's questions. Here are things I learned from both the story and the "Q and A" portion:

1. The moment you feel that ineffable attraction for someone comes unexpectedly. You'll know it - whether by intuition or something else - and you'll know that it just feels right. You don't even have to ask yourself twice.
2. If you want to be with someone you have plenty (and I mean PLENTY) in common with - like interests or beliefs - you might as well start a relationship with a mirror. I now find it narcissistic to want to be with someone who has almost everything in common with you.
3. "Agree to disagree." Differences will always be there, and they'll be the cause of bickers, but the thing about them is that you don't linger on them. Learn to let go, and move on.
4. Relationships are easy - as long as you're with the right person. It's easy to find it in yourself to let go of your pride, to get in a fight but make up, to get through any problem, and to trust because you now the other person is the right one for you. If none of those things are easy, then you're not with the right person.

After the enlightening talk, I boldly told the couple "When I have a boyfriend, I'll introduce him to you. I'll even tell him, 'it's because of their enlightening advice that you and I are together.'"

When I get in a relationship in the near future, I'll make sure it's the "real deal." It's a relationship grounded on love, happiness, respect, and loyalty. A big part of me is ready for the "true love" paradigm.