THANATOPSIS - "view of death"

So, I finally read this poem by William Cullen Bryant. I finally read it without distractions, and I must say that it is now one of my favorite poems.

It talks about the inevitability of death. The Earth, which has nourished you and I,will, in the end, "Claim thy growth, to be resolved to earth again." The poem further tells as that in death we are all equal: though we may have been wealthy or impoverished in our lives, in death there are no differences.

In the end, the poem says: So live, that when thy summons come to join The innumerable caravan, which moves To that mysterious realm, where each shall take His chamber in the silent halls of death, Though go not, like the quarry-slave at night, Scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave, Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch About him, and liest down to pleasant dreams. In simpler words: live the kind of life worth remembering by those you leave behind.

Party like it's 2012... No, party when it's 2012

Call it the Rapture or an Apocalypse, the Mayans predicted hundreds of years ago that the world, as we know it, will come to an end on December 21, 2012 or the winter solstice of 2012. Seemingly unnatural "natural" calamities stand as evidence: earthquakes, floods, and storms that occur out of season. Even the stars have changed their alignment, I think, since there is a new zodiac sign.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to frighten or sadden anybody. I'm not even trying to force anybody to believe in this "End of The World" Theory if they absolutely do not believe in it.

I don't believe that the world will absolutely come to an end exactly on the winter solstice of 2012. However, based on current environmental calamities and phenomena, I believe in the possibility of the Mayan prophecy/prediction.

I see people panic at the mere thought of the world coming to an end sooner than they expected, and I feel a twinge of being sorry for them. The lesson that can be picked up from this "end of the world" thing is that the present is more important - living in and making the most out of the present - than wondering what will happen in the future.

Now is the best time to make the most out of life. Think of it, if the world were to end soon, then we better live our lives to the fullest so that when we reach the end, we'll know that we lived a fulfilling life. No "what if" or "should have."

So when the end comes, you'll embrace it, knowing you made the most out of this life.

It's what I would call progress

I have a crush on someone. That's not really news, but this is: my admiration for this guy was not sparked by attraction to his looks. Instead, this crush grew from admiration of his honest mind. He's brilliant, smart, a Harry Potter fan, and an avid reader. He's a wonderful blogger and his writing is impeccable. He's my age and he and I are from the same country.

Where did I find him? Tumblr. What's his name? Ask me not.

He's admirable because of his passion for reading. He's not a literature major, and yet he reads more than I do. I will admit, his writing style's better than mine. His passion is what makes me admire him.

For once, I do not like a guy for his handsome face or charming smile... For once I felt something for someone using something other than my foolish eyes.

Personally, this is what I would call progress. Gone is the girl who hungered for attention and affection from a handsome man. A mature young woman taught her to turn her eye from the physical and direct them to the word that came from that physical being.

The Sheldon Cooper Juxtaposition

Sheldon Cooper is an asexual being. That is, he is sexually attracted to neither women nor men. He dedicates himself to his intellectual pursuits, to science fiction, to video games and to comic books. He's happy and content with the kind of life he has. Romance is of no importance.

That said, I could learn a thing or two from Sheldon. I may not have a relationship, that doesn't mean I have to feel lonely or miserable. I don't even have to worry about whether or not I'll ever find somebody. The way I should look at it is this: If I find somebody, then, wow, I'll be eternally thankful for that. And if I don't, then I'll be fine.

Looking at the kind of life I have right now - being a busy student working to earn a degree in order to be well-off - a romantic relationship isn't really on top of my Needs List.

I better enjoy myself right now - with reading, writing, keeping myself out trouble, being a nerd, and being happy.

Being a Sheldon Cooper in my last year as a teenager and as a young woman in her early 20s probably wouldn't be so bad.

IMAGE SOURCE

Famous Last Words (as inspired by'Last Words, an episode of How I Met Your Mother)

Last words - they're a lot of pressure. They count so much that you just want to be sure that all the words you say will be worth remembering.  This is why every moment counts.

What if the one we love dies, or goes missing, or goes away for a really long time - would you want your last memories with that person to be of a moment of anger or disagreement? Would you want your last words to them be words of hatred, resentment, or spite?

But do last words even really matter? I think they do. The last words we say before we go - either through death or simply when we part ways with the people we care most about - will be the lasting memory we have with other people. That is why I like jokes, though they may be corny or the punch line isn't really funny, because I appreciate the person's effort to make me laugh or simply chuckle. Somehow, through that joke, someone shed some rays of happiness in my life. And this is also why I can't be 100% serious and business-like. I always want to put a smile on people's face or crack people up. It's because I want my memories of people to be happy memories, the same way I want their memory of me to be a happy one.

Now, think about it: what were the last words you said to your parents? To your brother or sister? What about your girlfriend or your boyfriend or spouse? To your friends? Are you sure those are the words you want to be remembered by if, God forbids, you reach the end of your life?

Last words are a lot of pressure, but don't think about it in that light. Just know that every moment counts in this life. Every second counts in the ticking clock known as Life. 

'Challenge accepted!'

In the sitcom How I Met Your Mother, Barney Stinson has two words he repeatedly says which can actually be inspiring. No, I am not referring to "suit up." Those two words: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Whether it's trying to accomplish a list of things he is too old to do or trying to pick up a woman whilst talking like a little boy or by wearing overalls, Barney boldly says "challenge accepted" when people say something can't be done.

These words have me thinking that "challenge accepted" is a good way of approaching things. We can look at problems hurled our way as challenges we need to face head on and eventually accomplish. Why not look at things as 'challenges', the way they're defined in the dictionary? "Call to engage in a contest or combat."

When an instructor says "You can not pass in my class if you don't perform well in the prelims and midterms," just say CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

When somebody says "You'll never  find The One," smirk and say CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

When your family says "You won't get rich as an artist..." CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

When a friend says "I can't lose weight properly," take the thing she or he can't do and show her or him that it's possible by saying "challenge accepted."

And the phrase even applies to the smallest, sometimes funniest of things, as these comic strips from F*ck Yeah Challenge Accepted at Tumblr show:

Difficulties are inevitable in life. So the next time you find yourself in one, don't say "Why me?" Instead, just say "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!" And after that, you can simply say: CHALLENGE COMPLETED.

 

Top 10 Best Photos In The History of ANTM (at least from the Cycles I've watched)

(as inspired by geekypinky's post)

A lot of people may not know this, but I am an avid viewer of America's Next Top Model. I like fashion photography and consider doing it as a hobby one day, and I'm a little bit of a fan of fashion itself. In this post, I count down the 10 photos from the various creative photoshoots from past cycles/seasons of the shows.

10. Laura Kirkpatrick, Cycle 13 - Ep10 Posing Underwater (photo by Russell James)

The water looks beautiful, the pose looks fluid, and the lighting is majestic. I would definitely try this kind of photo shoot when I get the chance.

9. Ann Ward, Cycle 15 winner - Cover Girl photoshoot 

 I usually don't pick Cover Girl ads as favorites, but Ann's photo is exceptional. It's the typical "easy, breezy, beautiful" commercial feel of Cover Girl. Her photo is elegant and breathtaking.

8.  Jaslene Gonzalez, Cycle 8 - Swimsuit Spread for Men's and Women's Magazines (photo by Tyra Banks)

This photo is best described with one word: FIERCE. Her body looks great and in control. And the eyes! Though the wind is blowing her hair, practically covering her eyes, you still see the fire in her eyes.

7. CariDee English, Cycle 7 - Black and White Scary and Sexy Shots (photo by Tyra Banks)

She embodied the purpose of this shoot which is to show a scary photo, yet at the same time still be pretty. As Tyra Banks calls it, it's the ugly-pretty. See how her nails are practically digging her body? That's what's make the shot work. Her body language and facial expression show her commitment to the concept.

6. Chelsey Hersley and Ann Ward, Cycle 15 - Walking Down Rodeo Drive (photo by Patrick Demarchelier)

Earlier today I was watching a replay of this episode on TV and all I can think of as I saw the pictures on deliberation was "wow, it's like one of those photos you see in the shopping bags for Guess or Mr. Lee or Jag or something like that." The concept is commercial fashion, but commercial high fashion. Hmmm, maybe I might want to do this kind of photo shoot when I get my very own camera one day.

5. CariDee English and Amanda Babin, Cycle 7 - Underwater nymphs (photo by David Ruiz)

I love the concept of a top view shot of someone who's floating on water.  It's majestic, almost serene. And, yes, you've guessed it: I'm thinking of doing a photo shoot like this one day.

4.  Krista White, Cycle 14 -  Posing in Shadows (photo by Tyra Banks)

 

Amazing how the shadow fits the features of her face perfectly, isn't it? There's a certain mystery as to where she's looking and you see the features of her face very well. This is the fourth in my list because of the concept  behind the shoot: finding the light in the shadow. Oh, and yes, I've been trying to do this kind of photo shoot with my camera. And, yeah, I'd like to have a photo like this someday.

3. Ann Ward, Cycle 15 - Teen Bullying (photo by Deborah Anderson) 

This has got to be my favorite photo shoot in Top model history. It's even my inspiration for next year's "creative shoot" graduation photograph. For those that don't know, the concept of the shoot is that the model's have a word (a bully word) painted all over their bodies, but at the same time they also have a "power" word painted on their body to show that anyone can overcome bullying and that words can never destroy a person. Ann was called a "giant" when she was younger, but look at her now: she's a Top Model in the pages and cover of  a prominent magazine... and her height is part of what got her there. 

2. Kayla Ferell, Cycle 15 - Teen Bullying (photo by Deborah Anderson) 

This my second favorite photo because of how beautiful it turned out. Kayla, who's a lesbian, was afraid of having "queer" written all over her body because of the painful memories from her younger years it brought back. Then again, her power word is "free" - and that's what she is: free to love and be herself.

And my favorite photo from Top Model history is:

1. Raina Hein, Cycle 14 - Disappearing Perfum Beauty Shots (photo by Brian Edwards)

One word: FIERCE. Look at those piercing eyes! And look at the control of her body! The photo looks like an ad for a magazine. Raina is in control of this photo - despite the wind and water going her way - and the first thing you are drawn into is her eyes. It's like a photo of a professional model's, not some aspiring model's. Fabulous, fierce, amazing... call it anything else that is synonymous!

And now, for a bonus photo of Kayla Ferell from Cycle 15, as photographed by Matthew Rolston:

Doesn't she look a little bit like Bonnie Wright (Ginny Weasley from the Harry Potter movies/books) in this picture?

INCEPTION: A dream within a dream... within a dream

Finally, I got to watch INCEPTION a few days ago. It's awesome... amazing... absolutely magnificent. The film is intelligent and thrilling - and I wouldn't mind watching it for numerous times. The film's director Christopher Nolan is now my favorite movie director.

The movie presents the idea that our subconsciousness - our dreams - heavily influence our conscious state with the way we create ideas and perceive the world. The film even shows us that people can share subconscious states, where one can either steal an idea or plant an idea in another person's mind. Our dreams are actually more complex than we think.

While watching the movie, I realized that J.K. Rowling was right when she wrote "It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget how to live." This is what happened to Mal, the wife of Dom Cobb (played by Leonardo DiCaprio). I wouldn't want to spoil the movie's plot and twists for those who haven't watched the film, so I won't go into the details.

Now, here I am, days after watching the movie for the first time, and I still can't unwrap my head from it. I even have this idea that can not be eradicated from my mind: what if the world we're living in is just a dream? What if our present lives - our so-called earthly lives - are just subconscious projections of another life? What if somewhere out there we're in a state of deep sleep and the things we're doing right now - like me writing this piece or you reading it - are just fragments of our subconsciousness? Or what if when we die we just enter a state of eternal dreaming?

Curiosity - that's what' been perked after I watched Inception.

I'm curious. Very, very curious.

IMAGE SOURCE

10 Most Awesome Things About 2010

Okay, so I would have to admit that 2010 isn't exactly the most awesome year for me, so creating this list was not as easy as ABC.  Despite the bad things that happened, I choose to look back on the good things that did happen, and this list counts down the 10 most awesome things about 2010.

10. Creating my Tumblr Page

- Tumblr redefined the paradigm of blogging. It brings me joy, laughter, and entertainment. I even got to meet  cool people this year because of the Tumblr Meet Up last June 25. Furthermore, the cool photos being blogged and reblogged actually inspire my inner photographer, so that's pretty awesome.

9. Rekindling the DEGRASSI fan in me

- Back when I was 12 years old, I watched the first season of DEGRASSI: THE NEXT GENERATION and fell in love with the unique show. Unfortunately, though, I never got to watch the seasons that came after, but I kept myself (close to) updated through the internet. And, the internet also gave me the opportunity to actually watch the things I've missed. I even spent most of my summer vacation with Degrassi marathons.

8. Expanding my personal library

- I spent thousands of pesos this year buying numerous books for me to read. Whether it's a book for school or personal pleasure, shopping for them was my version of retail therapy. Books are my source of joy, calm... they're my safe haven.

7. Owning a laptop

- Okay, so it's not brand new. But I am thankful for having it. It's been a great convenience to me, especially when it comes to doing school work and doing something fun.

6. Discovering the photographer in me

- I'm blessed that my dad's friend lent me a DSLR camera for me to use for my Journalism class. Honestly, though, I've used the camera for discovering my personal interest in photography. I'm still a beginner, mind you, but it's something I want to develop as an interest, maybe even as a talent. Hey, who knows? I'll probably become a writer/photographer one day. 

5. Turning 19

- Here I am, an age that borders between adulthood and adolescence. Being 19 for the past six months has been quite a ride - there's the inner fear of having to leave childhood behind and face the phony world of adulthood. (Catcher in The Rye much?) I then think about the amazing possibilities life has to offer and that inner fear fleets.

4.  The release of  A THOUSAND SUNS, NIGHTMARE, and LIVE IT UP

- Linkin Park came out with an awesome album tat showcased their versatility as artists. Meanwhile, Avenged Sevenfold's highly anticipated album since the death of their drummer Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan. Lastly, American Idol season 9 winner Lee DeWyze  released his major record label debut album. The release of these albums is an awesome thing because all year long I looked forward to the new music these albums have to offer.

3.  The release of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 1

- Ever since the book came out in 2007 I have been looking forward to its movie adaptation. Anybody who has read my blogs on the movie will know why this is on the list.

2. Becoming a huge fan of the TV shows The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, and Glee

- Prior to 2010, though, I've heard of these shows - as a matter of fact, I've been watching How I Met Your Mother before - but this year I got to truly watch these shows. In doing so, I got to appreciate them. For instance, The Big Bang Theory allowed me to appreciate my inner geek... and it's okay to be a geek. You're just being yourself. On the other hand, How I Met Your Mother allows me to be in touch with my romantic side - the side of me that fantasizes about meeting The One, falling madly in love, getting married, and telling your two children how you met the love of your life. And finally, there's Glee. It's one of the most watched television shows. It's entertaining with its humor and music. My viewing pleasure was indeed pleasing (and awesome) because of these shows.

And the most awesome thing about my 2010 is...

... becoming a staff writer for Gasera

- The last time I became a campus journalist was in senior year of high school. Freshman year I tried out for the university's official publication and the fact that I was not accepted sort of hindered me from trying again. This year, though, I threw caution to the wind and just went with the desire to share my passion for writing by showing people what I can do. I will admit: my path as a staff writer hasn't always been smooth - I've had moments where my dedication was questioned, but for the most part, I've had an awesome time doing what I do best and sharing it with others. And the best part is when people tell you that they appreciate what you like... that's the best reward.

So now I look forward to 2011. 

And I'll just let this picture I found in Tumblr speak for itself:

Life Lessons From Sims

Playing video game isn't one of my biggest hobbies, but there is one video/computer game that has me hooked. I am so hooked on this game that I sit on the couch with the laptop in front of me and play for hours. I even go to bed at one a.m. because of this game.

I am talking about SIMS.

For those that don't know, SIMS is a game where you create "families" of simulated human characters, move them into a home, and pretty much control their lives. The game is like life itself, only difference is that the game's simulated.

Like real people in the real world, Sims characters need to eat, heed t the call of nature, bathe, sleep, maintain relationships with other people, have fun, develop skills in order to get a good job, and maybe even fall in love and start a family.

And for me, Sims isn't just a game one can play during unproductive days. A lot can be learned from playing Sims:

1. In life, you need to have fun. It can't always be about your occupation or preparing food or studying. Sometimes you just gotta let loose - dance, relax and read a book, shoot some hoops, hang out with a friend to forget the world for a minute.
2. Striking a balance among all the things you do is important. When you're tired, take a rest. When you're hungry, eat. When you're bored do something recreational. You get the picture.
3. Maintaining relationships is important. Talk to a friend or even just take a few minutes of your day to interact with your friends and family. Life can get really depressing if you live life in your own world all the time.
4. In order to get a job that is dignified and well-paying, you have to hone your skills. That involves plenty of studying and practice.
5. While it may be a lot of fun playing God and controlling a simulated character's life, you should never forget to live your own life. Remember to keep yourself from getting hungry, tired - in other words, remember to take care of yourself and others first before you take care of the simulated version of yourself and your family and friends.

Expiration Dates on Secrets

Benjamin Franklin once wrote: Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. What dear Franklin is trying to tell is that most things don't remain a secret, no matter how much we would want them to. Eventually, someone will be a snitch and blow the cover. Secrets are like milk: they have expiration dates. They can also be like bombs that cause destruction when detonated.

Recently, a secret of mine reached its expiration. Okay, so I couldn't hold my tongue long enough. I caved and told a single soul (and eventually other souls found out) that I am attracted to one of my classmates in ESP. And another secret blew to bits when three classmates figured out I had (or still have?) feelings for a guy I am friends with. Damn. I did not put on a good poker face.

Ah, well, it was probably about time, anyway.

The "Just Friends" Satisfaction

"Should my heart rejoice because we're friends or should my heart break because that is all we will ever be?"

My conversation last Tuesday afternoon with one of my classmates made this thought come into mind when she and two other classmates found out I used to have feelings for one of my guy friends.

They even thought he and I would be great together, considering we have a lot in common. Even in the past, I've heard the teases from my friends that... um... said guy and I would make a great couple. It's a sweet, comforting thought. But I feel like it's more complicated than that.

Nevertheless I am content that he and I are friends. I usually don't end up being friends with guys that I like, so the friendship that he and I have is what I would call progress (and a blessing). And I am happy that he and I are friends - that means we're in each other's lives. Come to think of it, we're almost-but-not-quite like a couple, except there are no touching, expectations of any sort, unsanitary exchange of saliva, or sappy sweet nothings. I'm fine with that.

If he and I are meant to be, something will be done by someone (either of us) to make things happen. Right now, I just don't think it's in the cards.

The True Love Paradigm

The things you don't pay for are sometimes the things you learn from the most. For instance, last Monday night I learned a lot from my friend Joseph and his girlfriend Kaye about relationships - meeting your significant other, taking that leap of faith to be with the person you're in love with, making the relationship work, dealing with differences, and other little things. 

Joseph's little "symposium" on love all began when we (me, and four other friends) saw him waiting for his girlfriend. We then sat down next to him in the hallway and asked him how he and Kaye met. He then went on to tell the story, and it almost felt like we the listeners were Ted Mosby's children on How I Met Your Mother. 

They have a sweet story, and though it may be similar to other love stories I've heard, their story has its unique elements: admitting feelings after a night of ghost hunting, saying "L" word on a starry December night, and falling in love over the Christmas break.

After telling their story, they also answered my friend Ruth's questions. Here are things I learned from both the story and the "Q and A" portion:

1. The moment you feel that ineffable attraction for someone comes unexpectedly. You'll know it - whether by intuition or something else - and you'll know that it just feels right. You don't even have to ask yourself twice.
2. If you want to be with someone you have plenty (and I mean PLENTY) in common with - like interests or beliefs - you might as well start a relationship with a mirror. I now find it narcissistic to want to be with someone who has almost everything in common with you.
3. "Agree to disagree." Differences will always be there, and they'll be the cause of bickers, but the thing about them is that you don't linger on them. Learn to let go, and move on.
4. Relationships are easy - as long as you're with the right person. It's easy to find it in yourself to let go of your pride, to get in a fight but make up, to get through any problem, and to trust because you now the other person is the right one for you. If none of those things are easy, then you're not with the right person.

After the enlightening talk, I boldly told the couple "When I have a boyfriend, I'll introduce him to you. I'll even tell him, 'it's because of their enlightening advice that you and I are together.'"

When I get in a relationship in the near future, I'll make sure it's the "real deal." It's a relationship grounded on love, happiness, respect, and loyalty. A big part of me is ready for the "true love" paradigm.

"You want a piece of me?"

Sometimes, as much as I'd like to forget about (forgive me if I come off as crass) the crap from my past, people bring it up and the memories come back like the Ghost of Christmas Past. When this happens I try not to lose my cool by getting mad or defensive. I only wish people don't bring the stuff up in the first place.

For instance, as I was on my way out of school last Saturday, a classmate whom I was leaving with pointed out that a guy I used to like was nearby and we were about to cross paths with him.  And I thought that was the end... but she went on by telling me that the guy's girlfriend was a Teacher Education student majoring in English. She then goes on to joke that I may have a shot with him someday. I told her of the fallacy of the statement, but she thought I was being defensive and that I was actually being hopeful or something.

I'm not. I've done a pretty good job of moving on, and it helps if people would cease their assumptions that I still have lingering feelings for a guy who is happy in his relationship. I'm not pathetic enough to wish he and I were together. I'm doing just fine having let go and I would do so much better if people would also let go.

People are free to believe whatever they want, as long as they have solid basis for those beliefs.  So, people can believe what they want to believe about me as long as they have facts to back them up... and as long as they don't try to rebuild bridges I have already burned. Then again, that last part may not come easy.

And as Lady Gaga once said, "People are always gonna talk. So we might as well give them something to talk about."

The Frog Prince Theory: It's gonna be a thing!

The Frog Prince Theory is loosely based on the Mermaid Theory. What's The Mermaid Theory, you ask? For men, it is when an initially unattractive woman become very attractive through time. For more details, click the link for a YouTube video of a clip from How I Met Your Mother s06e11. 

Now I've come up with a similar theory applicable for women: The Frog Prince Theory. The theory states that a guy, whom a woman finds to be unattractive at the first meeting (much like a frog) through time may become an attractive (note: handsome, hot) "prince" in her eyes. The theory works like beer goggles, only it doesn't always involve copious amounts of alcohol. The Frog Prince Theory may come into effect through a) spending plenty of time in the company of said "frog/prince", b) absence of guys that women find to be attractive, c) hormonal imbalance, or d) desperation to "get some."

Recently, The Frog Prince Theory applied to my life. For about two months, a classmate of mine suddenly appeared... what's the word?... decent-looking. To be honest, he's not really a catch. He's not a 10 with looks, he's not the brightest bulb in the room, and he's not exactly Mr. Personality. As a matter of fact, he's the kind of guy who flatters girls ("bolero" in Filipino terms) just to get their attention. I guess that's his way of compensating.

Anyway, if you ask me what caused my sudden attraction to him, I would probably say all of the above.

But if you're wondering if it's possible to go from finding the frog a prince, and finding the prince to be a frog again, I tell you that it is. Eventually, I sobered up, so to say. The beer goggles went off and I found myself not attracted to the guy again.

And now I can look back and laugh at how wrong I was. Then I can get on track with finding my actual prince.

Points of Authority

Usually, I would use my own words to describe what I'm feeling or thinking regarding what's going on in my life. Tonight, though, I figured I'd just use the lyrics to Linkin Park's "Points of Authority"  to express what I'm feeling. Whether I am referring to a friend or a family member, I'm not going to say. I'll let the mystery linger.

Points of Authority

by Linkin Park

Forfeit the game

Before somebody else

Takes you out of the frame

And puts your name to shame

Cover up your face

You can't run the race

The pace is too fast

You just won't last

You love the way I look at you

While taking pleasure in the awful things you put me through

You take away if I give in

My life

My pride is broken

[Chorus:]

You like to think you're never wrong

(You live what you've learned)

You have to act like you're someone

(You live what you've learned)

You want someone to hurt like you

(You live what you've learned)

You want to share what you have been through

(You live what you've learned)

You love the things I say I'll do

The way I hurt myself again just to get back at you

You take away when I give in

My life

My pride is broken

[Chorus]

[Forfeit the game

Before somebody else

Takes you out of the frame

And puts your name to shame

Cover up your face

You can't run the race

The pace is too fast

You just won't last]x2

[Chorus]

[Chorus:]

You like to think you're never wrong  

Forfeit the game

(You live what you've learned)

You have to act like you're someone 

Forfeit the game

(You live what you've learned)

You want someone to hurt like you 

 Forfeit the game

(You live what you've learned)

You want to share what you have been through

(You live what you've learned)

Good, Bad, and Mediocre

This past weekend was good, bad, and mediocre.

It was good because I got to be a part of the lantern parade for the centennial of our university. The bad - nay, hellish - part was being late and having to chase our school just to keep up (in the case of me and 5 others). From there, the worse led to a mediocre performance at the dance whatnot after the parade.

It was good that I got to exercise the growing photographer in me. But, it was bad that some classmates take advantage of the fact that I use a DSLR camera for them to have their picture taken. What am I, their personal photographer/paparazzo? And before that, a supposed friend ruins my day by sneaking up on me on putting me on a choke hold. If that is his idea of a joke, well, I'm not LOL-ing. I genuinely got pissed off because what he did made me feel embarrassed me in front of my classmates. I haven't even heard a genuine apology from him. (Not even a "sorry", just a defensive "okay, I'll give you your space.")  I hate to admit that that moment ruined my mood for the day. I felt disrespected - as a friend, and as a girl. That choke holder "friend" can expect a few words from me the next time he sees me. He can expect a taste of my wrath.... because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, right?

Okay, so more bad things happened than good, but I'll choose to remember the good when I look back on this past weekend. If I look at the bad and mediocre, I'll only boil my own blood and go, "shoulda, woulda, coulda."

And those words are only for fools.

Dear So-Called Friend,

Thanks for letting me know you were tired of me. Forming new close friendships with those two and rubbing it in my face really was the kindest way to do it. 

And thanks for sitting down with me and talking about your problems with me. Then again, it was probably better for you to ignore me and act like the past two years of our friendship never happened. You have a way with the element of surprise!

It's all right if you want to be with your two new BFFs. Go ahead and be with the pretty, popular ones all the boys bow down to. Go ahead and forget about the little people.

All I ask is for you to give me some honesty and show me a little respect. Don't turn your back on me, ignore me, and leave me hanging.

If truth be told, you don't know the pendulum I am on - I go from happy to sad, from mellow to enraged. You don't bother to ask me about it, so I don't tell you a thing. Besides, it's not my style to shower others with my burden. If you truly know me, you would know that.

So if you want none of my baggage, that's your prerogative. You can do the weak thing and abandon someone who needs your help.

Because a true friend would help a friend with a baggage. In doing so, everything else becomes easier. But I'm guessing you're not the person I count as "true." Thanks for the times, the invite your home and all the other things - I'm just sorry I can't be who you want me to be. I'm sorry if my baggage is too much for you to take.

For as long as we've been friends, I've accepted you for who you are. All along I thought you were doing the same thing.

Consider this letter my way of letting go of the bottled up emotions.

WONDERING IF I WAS EVER TRULY YOUR FRIEND,

P. Viron

I Will Tell You One Time: Going on the Record with the Bieber Fever

One of the things I don't understand and thought I'll never, ever talk about is BIEBER FEVER. However, after watching a few nights ago a segment on E! News about Justin Bieber's book signing at NYC's Barnes & Nobles got me to think about writing about the pop culture phenom. Die hard fans, fret not - I am not here to talk trash about your idol.

First of all, I am NOT a fan of his music. I find nothing special about the entity of Justin Bieber - his look, music, and hype. There's nothing I find extraordinary about him. And so every time I see screaming - nay, even crying - Bieber fans (so-caled Beliebers) on TV, I just knit my eyebrows in utter confusion over their adoration and eventually go "Puh-lease!" In the said E! News segment, there was even a girl crying from joy or was probably feeling overwhelmed because Bieber asked her if his new haircut looked okay. I didn't know whether to laugh or to say that that fan was ridiculous.

I wish these fans would realize that Bieber's an ordinary guy they don't really need to cry over or do all the crazy things they do - like skipping Thanksgiving or staying in line for long, long hours just to meet the guy (who, like I said, isn't really so extraordinary) - in order to profess their adoration for a pop star, who, in years to come, will most likely be forgotten because someone new will come along. As Eurupides once wrote, Moderation wins the day first as a better word for men to use, and likewise it is far the best course for them to pursue.

In other words, moderation must be applied to everything, even when it comes to adoring famous people.

So, Bieber fans out there, adore Bieber all you want... just do it with moderation. Please.

Inspiration: "Me and My Jealousy" by Lee DeWyze

December wind in Baguio's supposed to feel so cold, but the only coldness I can feel is the one in my heart. Trying not to be jealous is easier said than done. Here I am writing out of jealousy.

... Jealous of the way you praise her beauty, as if I'm not standing close enough to hear your words and feel a sharp sting going through my pride.

I can only stand in silence and not let you know...

... That when I sleep at night, you're in the subconsciousness of my mind.

... That  I feel like you're the one I can spend long hours texting with late at night, walk down the hallway and hold hands with, talk about my date and eat lunch or dinner with...

... That you could fill the void growing in my soul.

I think about telling you... or just not telling you. You're confusing me with your words and your actions. I wonder if you ever wish you could tell me the same things you tell her.

But I don't want to keep thinking about this. I don't want to keep thinking about my jealousy.